my day seemed to go the opposite of Pinkster the kinkster's. i woke up sad thinking i wouldn't get to see Her. boy was i wrong.
i was just as shocked when the mother actually asked if i wanted to come. i've been living, and still am really, under the impression that she is not fond of me. Maybe its the appearance of handyman. Maybe she suspects something. Maybe she got some. Whatever it is, i like the change.
Pinky covered the main points of our adventure so i'll stick to the side shit She left out.
Like this little gem: A BIRD SHIT ON ME! i repeat. A BIRD FUCKING SHIT ON ME! Sure, in itself, that's not that uncommon. Birds shit on people all the time. But when you think about the events surrounding and leading to the aforementioned doody, you'll see something bigger is afoot.
First, i just happened to have an extra set of clothes today. Before leaving the house, i argued with myself over whether or not i should bring spare clothes. i decided too at the last minute only because i wanted to get Pinky in the water, where i could hold her hand in plain view without arousing the suspicion of the Units. Yes ladies and gentleman, i am that fucking lame.
Second, to get on the path i was walking while being shat on, i stopped 3 times to look at objects in windows and moved to the left side of the walk way so i could see Pinky ahead of me rather than the posteriors of the Units. Lets face it, She's just prettier than the Unit's asses.
Each seemingly innocent movement brought me one step closer to poo, and its because of this that i believe this incident was destiny. i believe i was meant to be crapped on. Why? Why did fate through me this fresh, nutty curve ball? This is just speculation, but i think that bird was placed there to show me that i am not a fan of scat.
Fun fact: on the beach i was laying on my back and there were birds flying above me. i was honestly very scared to yawn.
i fell in love with that "one of us begs for it" collar. i will make it my life's mission to have it.
my day did end in a bit of anger, so i guess it wasn't all that much different from Pinky's. While we were at the beach i frequently saw the Units engaging in lovey-doveyness. It ticked me off a tiny bit. It's not exactly fun to be on a beautiful beach with the woman you love and not be able to express it. im way too much a hopeless romantic for that kinda restraint. God damn secretness.
i must also take responsibility for Handyman's doomsday speech. i made the mistake of engaging him in a debate without finishing any of my points or shutting him down. As much as i love debating, when a man denies the hate that spews from right wing extremists and says global warming is a scam, debate sort of loses its fun. i just cant seem to bring myself to take a huge Rush Limbaugh fan seriously. God damn me for being a liberal elitist...
That's all for tonight.
~i love you all and theres absolutely nothing you can do about it.
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1 comment:
Sorry about the birdie doo. Maybe one of those umbrella hats would be a good idea to protect from that. Maybe could market them as Anti-Tweety Doodie hats.
About the looney conservative (and no arguments asking how I know he was looney. that's a default condition of conservatives), while I agree that global warming is an issue. I do get irritated at human arrogance referring to the idea of "saving the planet". As if something as pathetic and insignificant as humans could even come close to destroying the earth. They can make it uninhabitable to themselves but the planet will just repair itself and keep going.
Anyway just wanted to drop those thoughts. Talk with you later my friend ^^
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