Rested, Chipper, and Productive, OH MY!

I never would have thought that those three words would ever be in the same sentence when describing Me. Ever. Sometimes it'd be chipper, sometimes it'd be slightly productive, and I can't remember the last time I felt rested lol. Ah, insomnia, you are a cruel Mistress... XD! Teehee. Anywho, so I actually got a whole night of sleep, save for the interruption of Le Bladder, but other than that, slept like a sloshed rock. It was so much better than a normal rock.


Ok so I'm in a weird mood. Sue Me.


Helped The Handyman out today with putting on the countertops. Had to spend like 3 hours in Home Depot though, between him running around trying to find everything on his list, Me floating through the rows of flowers attempting to make a decision, and us not finding each other lol. It was great. I was oh so very excited to start planting My pretty sunflower seeds, marigolds, gold dust, alyssums, and the other three that I can't fully remember nor spell. I bought enriched soil, a mini digger thingy (shush, I don't know the proper gardening lingo yet >.<), and garden gloves. I had a blast setting everything up. I love the idea that I'm growing something, and that it depends on Me to take care of it. (Hence I have two lovely pets, ^.^)


I'm going to flip out when I see the little sprouts peeking through. They'll hopefully be partially, if not fully grown once starshine arrives, ^__^. I set it up all nice so once they grow, the colors will compliment each other. Patterned it and everything, ^_^. Tis an art, and I heart art.


Between that and assisting The HandyMan every once in a while, that's basically all I did today lol. Mother didn't even ruin My shiny, which is amazing lol. She almost always does. My fault, honestly. I shouldn't let her dictate My life/emotions/mentality/everything. You'd think Me being a Dom I'd be able to tell her to get off My ass about every damn thing, to stop being a passive/aggressive, two-faced whore, but, alas, I never had the strength to stand up to My manipulative Parental Units.


Again, I'm not bitter.


I think I'm getting a bit better though. I actually speak back now, throw some good points in there every once in a while when I don't feel like I'm bloody 5 years old again. I think if I show her My true anger, the violent yummy kind, she'll back off. Maybe even fear Me. That'd be nice, I wouldn't have to deal with her anymore, ^_^. We shall see what happens. The HandyMan is here for the weekend, so she'll be as sweet as cherry pie. I hate cherry pie.


Fuck My back is killing Me, >.<. *needs a massage*


I didn't get to see boy today, *pouties*. But maybe sometime this weekend. Mother is supposed to practice driving with Me either tomorrow or Sunday. 10 bucks says she won't keep her promise. (Note the non-bitterness) I really want to get the Industrial piercing, which I vowed to get it this week, but that never happened cause the kitchen people took up all My time. But that's ok cause I want My kitchen restored more than an Industrial piercing. Scary, I know. I really need a job, like... now, lol. Between My mother sucking My money out of My bank account for bills that I randomly have to start paying because she's a stubborn little fuck that won't admit that she needs help with financial stuff to her family, who would gladly help her, so instead she takes My money out My already slightly withered account, and expects Me to become the fucking president with 20 bucks in My pocket. I love her logic.


So starshine and I have an 'official' song: Til Kingdom Come, by ColdPlay. Haven't heard it yet, but the lyrics are beautiful and kinda dead on, XP. boy and I have yet to decide on a song, but I think it might be Calling You, by Blue October, ^.^. Gotta talk with him about that.


I think I 'm going to watch All Dogs Go To Heaven tonight... I wish I had someone to snuggle with, *sniffles* =v.v=


That about covers My day. I'll probably three way with boy and starshine later, if I'm not passed out, XD. YAY NECROPHILIA!! Kinda...

Til next time, My lovelies.


Brutally yours,


~P.

My Day and Other Things.

My day was actually exetremely boring, don'tcha know. (Yes, Boy, I am doing this to annoy you. mwahaha.)

But really, it was. Mostly I just cleaned around the house, bathroom, birdcage, my room, stairs, laundry. Everything that I had on my list for the day, done. YAY FOR ME. Now I have to go to work right after this and do MORE cleaning. Oh joy. Rapture. Someone kill me and get me away from the damn soap. D:

I told my family about me and Pinky yesterday. They were...okay with it, I guess. They're concerned that I don't know what I am, sexually-wise. I need to figure that out. I don't know if I'm gay or bi, but I definetly ain't straight, that's for damn sure. I can't say that I'm attracted to men, or even women for that matter. Just Pinky. No one else besides her has made me feel this amount of love and devotion and passion and need. I love her. That's all there is to it. But most people won't accept that. They need to KNOW. 'Are you or aren't you? What if she leaves you? Are you gonna be straight when this is over?' I don't know. I might never know. I'm barely starting to know myself.

Which is why, because I have so many issues with my sexuality, amoung other issues, that I am going to get some therapy for a while. Just to figure out where, possibly even who I am in all of this. Pinky's pretty much ecstatic, because she's been trying to get me to go to therapy for about three years now. I, being the stubborn little brat that I am, refused out of both stubborness...and fear about the things I'd find out about myself. But I'm not afraid anymore. I'm ready. Ready to face my demons and the things that made me so messed up in the first place, and just get out with my life. Bring it on. :D